Monday, March 27, 2006

Lord of the Rings Nonsense

This is a really bad idea - a LOTR musical. The story is so complex and takes so long to explain as it is, but making people do some song and dance numbers can only make it worse. Can you imagine Gandalf dancing around while Frodo holds the ring - ridiculous.


Justin's D! said...

That is a bad idea. Almost as bad as doing a musical for Over the Top.

The only thing that could salvage either one of those debacles is if Arnie and Sly were cast in the lead roles.

Can you imagine Arnie and Sly as Frodo and Gollum/Smeagol (doesn't matter who plays who) battling for the ring at the end? Now that would have to go straight to ESPN's instant classics!

Rob said...

Man, I love it. The other hobbits could be played by Chris Rock, Al Pacino, and Danny Devito as Sam. The incomparable Carl Weathers could play Aragorn, Jean Claude van Crap could play Legolas, Hulk Hogan as Gimli, and you would need a real star to play Gandalf - I say Powers Boothe.

Throw Tom Cruise in as the voice of Sauron, and Val Kilmer as Saruman and you could have a Top Gun moment that would bring the house down.

I can honestly say that I would go and see such a production.

Justin's D! said...

I would have to agree.

Ron Howard's brother, Clint, could play a dual role of Merry and Pippin. The great part about Clint is that you wouldn't need to spend any money on make up or effects...I think he may actually be a hobbit.

Don't forget Whoopi Goldberg as Arwen.

I think you would have to create a couple of extra shelves in the den for all the Tony's this production would rack up.

Rob said...

"A Tour-de-Force"
"Not to be missed!"

These would just be some of the reviews.

Justin's D! said...

Don't forget "ORGASMIC!!!"

deepie said...

Don't forget Billy Crystal as Arwyn's father (Billy and Whoopi would have great chemistry as father and daughter) and maybe Steven Segal as the idiot king who catches himself on fire and eventually jumps off the overlook to his well deserved death. And I'm thinking Michael Clarke Duncan (the big dude from "The Green Mile") as the ork leader...either him or Gary Coleman.

Justin's D! said...

Agree with Billy and Whoopi's chemistry. However, I would have to say we would have to go with everyone's favorite orkan, Robin Williams, as the orkan leader. This would also complete the trifecta team of Crystal/Goldberg/Williams.

I smell another Tony or maybe that's just my butt.

Rob said...

I like Gary Coleman. "Whatchu talkin' about, Frodo?"