I'm having so much fun with the emails, I thought I would post up the full story:
THE LEGEND OF BINGO SHERMINATOR
(A storyline for an upcoming hit Disney TV movie - based on actual events)
Plotline: The struggling Redskins hire an old, retired coach who is calling out Bingo numbers at the local Bingo hall to fix the team. He comes in, takes over as coach, and the team goes on to win the Super Bowl.
The first part of the movie shows the Redskins struggling early in the season. With the team losing, the owner (Danny Boy) shakes his head and asks his GM (Vinny) how they can get back on track. The GM smiles coyly and says, "I know just the guy." Vinny calls up the Sherminator's house and gets his wife who tells him, "Sherm's not in right now, do you want his cell phone number?"
Vinny gets Sherm on the line. At first Sherm thinks it is a prank call, but then he realizes it's for real. He agrees to come in as a consultant to the team. The camera pans back after the call and we see Sherm standing in front of 25 old ladies in a Bingo parlor. He calls out, "N-40. N-40."
The next scene is Sherm sweating as he wonders if he's still actually got what it takes to deal with NFL players. He is questioning himself and moans to his wife, "I've been running Bingo games for the last 5 years, what do I know about the NFL?"
She lovingly caresses his shoulder and says something cliche like, "It's just like riding a bike! You'll find your way - just get out there and ride!" At that moment, the ghost of Bill Walsh appears (only to Sherm) and throughout the rest of the movie Walsh provides serious insights and comic relief.
The movie also includes a product tie in to Madden X. To come up to speed on today's NFL, Sherm's grandson shows him how to play Madden football and use Madden's suggested plays. Sherm is truly impressed.
After a series of comic mishaps and melodramatic scenes in which the players initially reject him, the owner fires the existing coach (Zorn) and installs Sherm as the coach. During actual games, Sherm's headset is not linked to coaches, but rather to his grandson playing Madden football in the owner's luxury suite. Sherminator's grandson is actually calling down Madden's suggested plays - AND THEY ARE WORKING. All of this is to the chagrin if the ghost of Bill Walsh.
As the obligatory love story that has to run through the movie, the struggling QB can have a relationship with the owner's hot young daughter (just go with it). All kinds of hijinks and mayhem can ensue with that.
The team goes on to win 10 in a row, and then dominate in the playoffs. They get to the Super Bowl, and in a strange twist of fate, Zorn is the coach of the other team (their coach died in some kind of freak accident).
JC gets injured midway through said Super Bowl game and at halftime with a dejected Redskin team down 48-0, Joe Montana (played by Joe Montegna) blasts through the locker room doors, straps up, and guarantees that he would be proud to fight with this team if they would have them. Begin Rally Cry and everyone bolts out the door ready to conquer.
It is the end of the Super Bowl, Sherm and his team are losing and there are just 2 seconds left. The Redskins find themselves down 5 on their own 1 yard line (99 yards from paydirt). It looks hopeless. Sherm calls the final timeout and Montana/Montegna comes to the sideline. Sherm looks at him then he looks over to his bench and yells, "JC! JC get your butt over here." JC hobbles up from the bench and looks from Sherm to Montana/Montegna back to Sherm. "Yeah coach?"
"JC, I want you to get in there. It's your time!" Montana/Montegna is surprised at first, but then smiles at JC and the grizzled vet nods. Somehow, JC stands up straighter and finds himself pain free. Sherm smiles and says we need something to that will surprise them. Instead of calling for a pass play from his strong armed QB, he calls for a QB sneak right up the gut. "It'll work - it's got to work!!! They won't expect it!" Sherm says as the QB looks questioningly at him when he hears the play.
Surprise surprise - it works - picture a lot of bad tackling in a horribly acted Disney movie. Time is up. The Redskins win.
JC is the hero, the owner forgets about everything that bothered him about his relationship with his daughter. "Welcome to the family . . . SON!"
Sherm shakes hands with Zorn - who is happy that the Redskins won also (strangely). The team picks Sherm up after the rousing win and begins the ride off into the sunset. One last view of Sherm's face appears - he is smiling broadly and one single tear is streaming down his face as he looks to his wife. His grandson by her side give him the thumbs up. The ghost of Bill Walsh is shaking his head in disbelief, but he is smiling. Cue end credits - CUT AND PRINT!!!